


your new boyfriend

by elihateslife



Category: Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Enemies to Lovers, Gen, M/M, basically wilbur gets a fat crush on his sworn enemy, i honestly dont know what im doing, i wrote this on a kindle lmao, who the fuck even is jared, why cant i write like this during my english exams
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-26
Updated: 2021-02-04
Packaged: 2021-03-12 10:14:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 2,056
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29008881
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/elihateslife/pseuds/elihateslife
Summary: Face burning, he wasn't sure whether it was anger or embarrassment, he grabbed his phone and scrolled down the contacts list hurriedly. Wilbur waited for the other party to accept the call before groaning loudly."Your new boyfriend's a godamn arsehole."-its a wilbur x jared fic :]this will have multiple chapters, i just dont know how to change the thing
Relationships: Wilbur Soot/Jared
Comments: 20
Kudos: 64





	1. i'm in love with an e-girl

There were a lot of things that Wilbur Soot did not understand. For example, the time he had asked the teacher how babies were made and everyone had stared at him, or perhaps the time he had gotten lost and a strange man offered to take him home (luckily, he had learnt about stranger danger, so he politely declined and ran). however, right now he wasn't confused about any of that. No, he was confused on why he had woken up slouched on the side of his house in the front yard with a pounding headache that could honestly make his head explode at any second, face sticky from what were tears (or at least he hoped they were and that he hadn't been approached by a horny stranger in the middle of the night), and phone screen shattered (which he'd never be able to afford to fix).

There was one thing he did remember though, unluckily it was the one thing he didn't want to and that was that he had been dumped. Even worse he had run into the couple last night. Oh god, it was all coming back to him now; he had gone to the nearest bar and gotten himself pissed drunk, hoping he'd die of alcohol poisoning and never wake up. Wilbur had never been the luckiest of people. He had lost his job around a week ago when his boss had decided that they needed someone who could actually show up to work on time. The rent was due in two days and he could barely scrape together the money. Maybe this was karma. Maybe he shouldn't have punched that boy in the face for stealing his crayons in year two... nah, he deserved it.

Wilbur fumbled around his pocket looking for the keys to the front door only to find that it was empty apart from his wallet, which contained thirty pounds - it was pretty much all he had. Fucking fantastic. he had woken up completely disoriented, head feeling like world war three and now he couldn't even get into the house and get what he needed. all he wanted to do was curl up into a ball and die, which compared to his other options (which included either facing reality or moving to Australia and living life as a furry) sounded pretty good. had he mentioned his hangover yet? rain splattered onto the ground as soon as Wilbur had decided to meet his fate on the cold hard floor. he shivered. on second thoughts, Australia had much better weather. 

He glanced down at his wallet which laid open on the floor and up at the street in front of him. huh. maybe he'd get lucky this time and the sweet release of death would pay him a visit.

-

Wilbur had never been good at planning. He had always been the one who relied on others for a good score in group projects, and was the type to spend money as soon as he was given it. Of course, that would have an impact on his future life. He was twenty six now and no longer a child who longed for sweets and toys. Now all he wanted was to forget everything. To forget Mila and her fucking boyfriend. Her six foot four, dark haired, very gorgeous boyfriend. Dang it.

After gaining the energy and motivation to get up from his front yard, Wilbur made the very obvious decision on what to do. Now a sensible person would have saved the money for when they most needed it. Wilbur, however, was not a sensible person and he had proven that when he climbed into the large fish tank at his school sixteen years ago and almost drowned. That was why he made the decision to go to the exact same bar that he saw Mila at last night and get dead drunk again. So here he was, in the middle of the day, downing alcohol like a dying man that hadn't seen water in years. He slurred incoherent words over the counter to nobody in particular. People had glanced at him, whispering things to the people next to them, but Wilbur hadn't heard. He was too busy floating around in his own head.

After what had only seemed like a few minutes it was already dark outside. Or maybe his vision was just messed up. He was way too drunk to tell. The noises around him were all fucked up and blurred and he couldn't think straight. He was sure that at one point a fight had broken out besides him. Maybe he was already dead, seeing as no one had kicked him out yet. He was fine like this. That was until he heard a horribly familiar voice.

"Wil? Is that you?"

Wilbur was well and truly fucked.


	2. maybe i was boring

Exactly twenty three weeks ago he had promised Mila to never drink more than what was needed to get an average person drunk, or less considering how much of a lightweight he was. She made him promise that after the incident (so famous that after two days the entire campus knew). and he had kept that promise right up until now. Maybe he had already broken the promise ages ago without her knowing. She could only pray that a copy of the college incident hadn't already occurred. At least it gave her another reason that the break up was a good thing. It added to her long list, which included 'likes pineapple on pizza (what a sin. truly horrifying)' and 'has too many green socks (in Wilbur's opinion, one could never have too many green socks. Mila disagreed)'. 

She had been out on a late night walk with her (new) boyfriend when she happened to notice a familiar man slumped against the glass window of a bar across the street. They went to go see what was happening, and from Wilbur's slightly nonsensical rambles they found out that he had lost his keys, couldn't pay the rent, was still heartbroken and also liked unicorn slippers (completely off-topic but she felt required to mention it). At least she knew what had happened to those hideous glittery pink unicorn slippers sent from her mum, who still thought she had the same taste as twelve year old Mila, now.

She was straying too far from her original idea. The point was that Wilbur was drunk out of his mind in the bar he used to go to when he was stressed out. It did feel bad, knowing that it was partly her fault, but there were better things to do than to feel guilty right now.

"Jay, you take his right arm and I'll take his left," she commanded, slinging the drunken man's right arm around her shoulder. Jared did the same with his left. Together, they hauled him back to their flat.

-

Wilbur woke up softly. How does a person even wake up softly? It smelt like home. He snuggled into the warmth and tried to fall asleep again. There was a cooing noise and a warm hand ruffling his hair now. Mmm. He could stay here forever. Soon enough, the warmth was gone and the blanket on top of him was pulled off. The ache in his head re-emerged. He groaned and tried to curl up into a ball.

"C'mon sleepyhead, you can't sleep forever."

Huh. He was sure that he had hard that voice before somewhere, but he couldn't quite put his finger on it.

"Wilbur! You're awake!"

Ah. Now there was a voice he recognised.

He sat up groggily and turned to face the direction of the speaker.

"Mila. Why the _fuck_ am I here?"

"Hey!", she pouted. "You were the one half-dead in a bar. What was I supposed to do? Leave you to die?"

"That was the goal." he groaned.

"You didn't tell me he was a suicidal pessimist."

Wilbur spun his head around, instantly regretting it from the pain. _Oh god._ Jared. The hot voice was Mila's boyfriend's. Not hot. Why would he ever think that? Haha.

"You probably shouldn't move that much right now considering how drunk you were last night."

_Oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit._

"I didn't... do anything out of the ordinary, right?"

Mila smirked. "Who knows. Maybe you did, maybe you didn't."

Goddamnit. Judging from the fact that she didn't seem very worried or fearful for her life, it was likely that nothing had happened.

"Go take a shower, you stink."

Ugh. Wilbur probably looked like a complete mess right now. Mila was right, he should go shower amongst other things. He remembered her apartment clearly. Still the same as it used to be, except the place on the left side of the bed was no longer his. Oh shit, he didn't have any other clothes. He'd taken them all with him two days ago. Wilbur grabbed a hoodie that looked like something he'd wear and hoped that Mila would be fine with it as they used to share clothing all the time (her things were always oversized (don't take that in a dirty way)). The hot water ran down his skin and everything felt okay.

-

The hoodie was not his size at all. Far from it, in fact. The ends of the hoodie reached his thighs and the sleeves were even longer. _How the fuck?_ Then he realised the mistake he had made. The hoodie was _Jared's_. Mila never left her clothes lying around. Wilbur rushed to change into something else but someone was already by the door. For fuck's sake.

"Cute."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> lmao sorry i cant think of a good plot  
> i only write when i get a random urge to  
> im still failing english lit though


	3. soft boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for not updating i kinda just forgot about this lol

Mila snorted when she saw him in the hoodie that was very obviously oversized. She might have been a little jealous if he didn't look completely adorable right now.

"Hey, uh-"

"Shut up."

Wilbur's face was flushed red and had his arms crossed in an attempt to look serious. Keyword was attempt. He usually seemed intimidating enough, but next to this giant and a girl only a little shorter than him, he looked like a little toddler.

The owner of the hoodie came out soon after, with a smirk on his face. "Still cute."

The shorter man groaned. This was going to go on all day.

Mila took out her phone and snapped a picture of Wilbur's even redder than red face. He spent the rest of the morning begging for her not to post it on social media.

-

They were having lunch. Mila had prepared sandwiches and Wilbur felt more than grateful.

Then Jared leaned over and-

"Cute."

Wilbur choked on his sandwich, face redder than the tomato content of the sandwich and watched as the taller man grinned at him, smugly.

-

"So you're staying at our place until you get enough money for another?"

"Yeah."

"Hm."

He got down from the bar stool and ruffled Wilbur's hair.

"How am I going to keep away with such a cutie in the house?"

The shorter brunette groaned.

-

"Cute."

"What the fuck. I'm trying to piss here."

Wilbur dried off his hands and found Jared sitting on the floor outside.

"You're actually really cute, you know. No joke. I'd totally fuck you if I didn't already have the best girlfriend ever."

"I don't think your girlfriend would appreciate you saying that," he spluttered, "and I'm not cute. So shut up."

"Cuuuuuute." 

_This bastard._

-

"Hey Mila."

"What's up?"

"Tell your boyfriend to stop calling me cute."

She blinked before grinning widely, eyes glinting.

"Oh, but you _are_ cute. The cutest."

Wilbur glared at her. If he wasn't practically homeless with no money at the moment, he would've been out of that apartment in a heartbeat. The couple were so annoying, they were perfect for each other. Not that he was jealous or anything. Well maybe a little jealous. The worst part was that he couldn't even tell who he was jealous of anymore.

-

It was nearing 9pm now. They had decided to watch a movie to bond. Mila was snoring already, and Jared seemed just as interested in watching the movie as Wilbur (not very).

Wilbur's eyes drooped. He felt an arm pull him closer and soft breath on his neck. The movie faded away, a cheerful love song with piano in the background. He leaned into the shoulder and arm cuddling his side and sleep overtook him.

**Author's Note:**

> im new to this lol  
> i dont know how bars work so sorry about that


End file.
